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Rubbish

In change, exhaustion, Jesus, moving, stress on July 27, 2009 at 8:57 am

I got to church at the last worship song and joined the throng still in the throne room.  I was exhausted, smelly and very late, but I just had to be there.

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The previous four days took us three hours away to clean, purge and pack up our house to make what we thought would be our final move.  Our venture ended late Saturday night and when we dropped in bed we weren’t sure if we’d make it to church.  We got up late and I hadn’t showered, but I just had to get there.

Settling in my seat, I hushed my mind and calmed my heart in preparation to receive God’s word from the pulpit when a song lyric caught my ear during the offertory.

Take everything I have until all I have is You, You Lord Jesus.

I chuckled to myself. Yes, please take it all! I had no desire to see another thing, another box, another piece of furniture for the rest of my life.  I never want to own a house again, I thought, I never want to see another basement!

All I want is You, Lord, I prayed in my aching heart as the soloist sang. Take everything.

My mind went back to Friday at the landfill where things from the last 15 years of my life has by now been shredded under the compactor’s teeth and thrust into the earth. Why did I save it all?  Why did I hold on to it for so long only to watch it be tossed out of the back of a truck?  I was so humbled and engulfed with shame as we bumped along the dusty road away from the most putrid smell I have ever experienced.

It’s all rubbish!  Now I understood what the Apostle Paul meant when he said that all he was – all he is and has is just garbage compared to Christ.

Take everything I have, Lord, until all I have is You.